the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
- boy: shit baby you're so wet already
- girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something
- person: are you athletic?
- me: i run
- person: oh sweet
- me: *whispers* a blog.
You unfollow me because you’re afraid of falling in love with me, I know
- Me: Breathe if you find me attractive.
- Entire human race: *dies from lack of oxygen*
browsing tumblr while on post limit is like a recovering alcoholic staring into the window of a bar
- me: does one sit-up
- me: checks for abs
how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
i don’t understand how people stop watching shows because something happens that they don’t like or they don’t like how it’s going
if i start a show i’m in it until the end
in sickness and in health
till death or discontinuation do us part
man, i 1000% understand where you’re coming from
oh yeah fuck glee
when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there